Revival of the Damned

Such scintillating hurt and the downfall of her swelling affections
Stories dark and bottled up exploded right in her face
Shreds of hope and fright all tangled up drumming at her from all directions
Scary thoughts of the nighttime street shadows of that faraway station
Swaying with him there was the little red sled which
Sustained them and carried those 5 days, a promise of a thousand years, and a puppy.

To think that she wasn't there.
How it killed her inside.
And this was the second time she was broken.

The split mind

First it was confusion
Then came something that felt like betrayal.
When I love, I give you words.
You've stepped on all this and the words became mere alphabets
You tore my hope and faith that was built up in the middle of your chest
I become a silent mess inside without you even knowing
The worst part is you don't know how far I've come
I cannot tell you or we'll both get so bruised
And history repeats itself.

Perhaps it was all about the Butterfly on the 23rd.
Of courage and faith.
All I need to do is believe, simply.

The endless entity

When words begin to flow steadily
The sound of air rustling leaves
Strangers of black and grey give you a fleeting glance
You hear someone calling their child in the distance
A song plays in your mind and you gently hum along
The parts you forgot
You let the wind take them away
A race with your own footsteps
A silent conversation with your slight shadow
A person insidiously poking through your array of thoughts
Shuddering at the boldness and audacity of the contents
Of coloured memories buried deep but never forgotten
Of the secret your lips told
Or the wish to do so but never quite did
The precarious imbalance within
Even the winter birds felt and sympathized with
They knew it was of endless entity.

I drown.

And all the gunshots come pouring down

There was the elderly couple who rummaged in bins
The pink tracksuit lady with her poodle
The gay dude in summer shorts and aviator sunnies
And like a massive wave of neurons firing in
I was shivering from the thought of possible victory
Couldn't control my quivering lips
The thin line between success and failure
Between yes and no
Between you and I
And in the far distance was a blurred horizon
Unseen to all in their foolish daydreams
I want nothing but to draw closer
And see the black and white that separates our superficial veils.

It comes with the night

I dream of falling into your wide embrace
I dream of burying my nose into your chest
I dream of you and I and nothing else
I dream of us in a place where it doesn't matter when things doesn't meet expectations
I dream of us smiling when everyone and everything else fails us
I dream of myself clinging frantically onto you in all the worldly misery
I dream of you making me feel loved and safe and wanted
I dream of you with my eyes wide open.

Something new, maybe

I am so stubborn all this while, so adamant at denying what my true feelings can blossom into. Maybe it is easily possible, to forget about what happened and what didn't, to let go of something that has already moved past me. Maybe this new introduction would be so much better than what I experienced, so much better than what I think it could offer. Am I ready to open myself up to this? Should I? You tell me, cus I am halfway to amazement. What that means in this context, even I myself am not sure.

I miss you.

You were damn right. I think I like you as much as you liked me, maybe even more so now.

Please get the hell out of my thoughts.

Thank You

Dear Friend,

Hello. It's been awhile since I had a heart-to-heart talk with you. I've been unconsciously missing those lovely times. Therefore it was a a huge relief that I was able to lay down the burden that has been oppressing me these few days. No one could fathom how sad and down I was. No one could see that behind the blaring earphones was a deaf monotone that only I could hear.

Thank you, therefore, for speaking out. For making the first move that eventually pulled me out of this confusing pit of self-pity and all the petty worldly issues. I hope the story doesn't turn round on itself. Because I treasure you and will not want you to experience the same thing as I did. Forget your burden as well and anything that upsets you, I am here and always, always will be. I will be your floating raft in the thunderstorm, I will be your friend in all the misery. All you need to do is speak out.

Once again, thank you.

With all my love,
Your faithful listener.

The things I see before I fall asleep

Charred lights from the street lamps

Creeping in through the curtains

Forming broken shadows on the barren walls

Dancing fingers in a riot

What I saw in the dark became darkness itself

Messing up my lovely bedtime thoughts.

Happiness is a choice

Free yourselves

Dear Wanderer,

Hi. I'm writing this letter to you to remind you that the world is much bigger than you think it is. You should be pleased, I would've screamed at you with snide gibberish. Yet, I kindly took the time out to trade tears and words in the hope of reaching out to as many as possible. I really hope that after you read this, it will leave a profound thought in your little fenced-up minds - to reflect. 

Yes, reflect about the world that you now live in. Is it not a tiny, sad and one-way street? It goes on and on in a single direction with nothing new around the make-belief corners. You pass the same windows and doors which opens to nothing but a dark, vacant room. Maybe if you're lucky you could find a spider or two. You look down at your feet, at the path beneath and the concrete blocks which are faded and worn. Who did that? You. You've been walking down the same path over and over again and you don't realize it, until you trip in the sunken ground that your repetitive stubbornness made.

My question to you is, why would you want to live a life of such narrowness? Yes, narrow is what I call it. But you don't really get it, do you? How many people could you walk with down your honorable street? 20? No. I presume 2, at most 3. And that would only do with some squeezing. You've got your lover and perhaps your dear parents to back you up. But that's it. Where are your multitude of friends? Even 3 friends is a multitude, you know. But sadly, you don't have any. You only hear throngs of footsteps but when you turn around, no one is behind you. 

I want you to see your own world, not from the path you traverse everyday, but from the large, spacious and curvy path at the opposite side - the real world. From the harsh, unfair and mean world, that is also filled with so much love. Can you see that? You have evaded the harsh love that could risk your everything, for the safe and secure love that offers nothing. At the end of every path is a junction. Small or big, you have the choice of making the same journey over and over again, repeating the same mistakes you were never aware of. Or you could open up and go for something bigger. It's never too late to stop, think and reflect. I want you to see the world as it is - enormous, colorful, sweet, loud, terrible, wonderful all packaged into one. Isn't it an amazing place? Before you get swallowed up by your own narrow-mindedness, look up and see that even the birds are enjoying it. It's time you do.

Best wishes, 

Her.

The Broken Community

We are broken souls, meagre in might. All night and day we wait upon someone, a stranger perhaps, to mend our wounds within. Like hopeful beggars waiting on a willing heart. It only takes one person. Just that one mighty person, to heal our hurt. It also takes that one mighty person, to break us forever.

The Solo Spectacle

The time will come when we learn to spread our wings fully. Those who love us will have to let us go, that we may fly and soar above the storms to survive the real world. It is a lonely, solo journey - to let go and watch those we love turning their backs on us, walking further into the ponderous reality. We worry, but when the time comes, it comes and all we can do is to loosen the grip. Because we love them, we let them go. Because love fulfills all the commandments.

The would've-been lovers of yesterday

Dark skies shadowed with the winter winds
Looking up at the scrawny branches I can see the other side
Where my heart pays a visit everytime
After a tiring week 7 minutes from this place
Is everything I need for a perfect start to the weekend
When the scarce sunlight shines on my cheek
I close my eyes and hear the promising whispers of tomorrow.

*

When you started the war a few years back
I solidly climbed to the top and dominated you and your armies
I declared myself champion and moved ahead confidently
But until today your strategies stuck in my mind
Like thunderbolts leaving scars on trees
You dropped your weapon and retreated
Leaving sandy traces of your defeat in my path
The winner is you -
Whom I've fallen in love with amidst the chaos
Your beautiful and turbulent chaos
Growing inside me as I continue fighting the war alone.

Window sepia

There is hope in the falling leaves and a new day lies in wait beyond the dimmed sky if only we just stop and set our senses free we can actually see light in the right window that was always in front of us waiting to shine in. 

Moonlight hunger

Carry me to the sunless moon
On a hitchhiker's mystical trail
Along the forbidden milky way
Only to find it isn't so white anymore

Which reminds us of the autumn so many years ago
When we waited for the last leaf to fall
So you and I we could
Count the branches and scrape at final chances
What I'd pay to walk back the seasons
Wasting hours accompanied by the faraway stars
That seemed so beautifully and purposefully broken
How you'd stand on tiptoes to grab a handful for me
How they'd glimmer in my hands then fade out
There was comfort in their ashes
We would blow them on rocky cliffs
Sending our midnight pleasures across town
For all to see and all to feel

The way we went to Mars and returned too soon
The fire was furious we nearly missed the flight
Our pulse caught up with the universe
Too quick for sane counts
Which reminds us of that autumn so many years ago
When we waited for the last train to pass
So you and I we could
Pretend in the corners of our hearts
What it'd be like to leave the rivers and oceans
That were so full of hunger and demand
What I'd do to walk back the seconds
Wasting hours accompanied by the moonlight.

Of Hope

And after sometime

When things seem to be smooth and at peace

When the echoes of our footsteps cannot be heard

They leave, one by one

To the one place that they belong to

Along with the birds and the wind

They take away the familiarity they provided

Leaving I alone, to wait my turn

I hope to be with them again

To feel the same sense of belonging

And if you love me, you will see to that.

Sealed with the hope that my name brings, I shall wait.

The Wildfire Below

All emotions are beautiful. They run in the heart of the fire, going as quickly as they come. The heat and glow reflects the severity. Often are they so deceivingly pretty to look at. And the smoke, oh... the black smoke.

[http://www.flickr.com/photos/artofthepresent/4971321261/in/photostream/lightbox/]

Her wait

She met him once, quite some time ago

When the sun was still down

He held her hand and they crossed the

Busy night street with some friends with

Foreign unmarked faces and

The night lights were a blur she could only

Vividly recall his black polo T and got a whiff of

What was to unfold in the distant future

They were safe on the other side and her heart

Was madly thumping with giddy love

A little like vodka in a huge gulp she turned to

Catch a glimpse of her soul mate yes

She knew he was the one she just knew but

Was frantic when he vanished and left her standing

Staring into the darkened background staring

At the unfinished subconscious reverie

Panic soothed when she remembered

His grip on her so strong and sure

She knew he would come back to

Cross roads with her once more and

To make a path of stones and pebbles that

Belongs only to him and her and

The bitter and sweet things they

Would come to share and build, together.